Jane Doe No More

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Jenn

I MATTER


I’m Jenn Tansley. I’m a mother, a wife, a successful entrepreneur, and also a survivor of sexual assault. However, until I became involved with Jane Doe No More, it felt like there wasn’t as much room for my other identities, as the victim part seemed to always creep back in and take over.

My assault took place when I was entering my senior year of high school. Until that point, I was an honors student, applying to fine art schools, and was in intensive ballet training about 5-6 days a week. As the months went on after my assault, my grades suffered, I almost failed my art class, and I quit ballet. I stopped being Jenn, and was a new form of myself. And yes, I still went on to college, graduated with a bachelor’s degree with honors, and went on to make a life for myself.  But some of my sparkle was gone.

Then enter Jane Doe No More. This organization is so important, because it gives survivors a way to get their voice back, and through that process, go on to become the people they were meant to become before their assault or trauma.

But it takes time, and it takes support from people like you. I’d like to say that as soon as I became aware of Jane Doe No More, I joined and went on to heal. But it didn’t quite go that way. I first learned about them in 2011, and attended their open house in Naugatuck. But I didn’t tell anyone why I was there, and didn’t join then. I then attended a speaking event in early 2013, where I listened, but didn’t tell anyone why I was there. It wasn’t until May of 2013 when I finally emailed to get involved, and then joined the Survivors Speak Outreach Team that following September.

So for me it took several events and two years of following the organization to finally reach out and find my voice. Which is why it is so very important to support Jane Doe No More, so they can keep hosting more events, and keep reaching people like me. People who want to get their voice back, but don’t know how.

And today, while I am still a survivor of sexual assault, I can honestly say I have some of my sparkle back.

I now know that I MATTER.
Your donation will let others know THEY MATTER TOO!

Jenn Tansley
Jane Doe No More Survivors Speak Outreach Member


 

Patti

I MATTER

I have always looked at life through a different lens than most. At least this is what I believed for a very long time. I felt dissimilar, that I did not fit in with those around me, and I was always wearing a façade. I was living as a survivor protégé, not having found a way through my trauma.

But then I found Jane Doe No More. It started with taking one of their free self-defense classes in 2013, and then reading Donna’s book. It gave me a sense of belonging. I was finally making a shift and becoming a survivor without having met anyone in the organization.

It wasn’t until the fall of 2016, when I accepted an internship with Jane Doe No More that I had even thought about sharing my story with anyone but those who already knew. In November of 2016, I officially became part of their Survivors Speak Outreach Team.

I met a group of incredible individuals that mirrored these emotions, and I no longer felt the intense loneliness, or the need to hide what happened to me. I was not to blame. I found a group of survivors who had found their own voices, and who helped me find mine.

It took a long time to come forward and admit to myself that I am a survivor of both child and adult sexual assault. I am 32 years old, and I finally feel like I have a solid platform to shout, “NO MORE!” The journey of recovery may seem long but there are facets of hope along the way. Jane Doe No More was and is that hope for me, and for so many others.

I am Patti, and I am a survivor. THRIVE!

I now know that I MATTER.
Your donation will let others know THEY MATTER TOO!

Patti Ieraci
Jane Doe No More Survivors Speak Outreach Member


 

Deb M

I MATTER

I am a survivor of child sexual assault from the age of 6 until I left home at the age of 19.

Until the age of 45, I had never met anyone like me.  I felt shame, blame and fear that no one would want to know me if they knew.

At 48, I found a support group and after 2 years, I found myself helping others through a volunteer program where I received an email about an organization called Jane Doe No More.  They were looking for individuals to join an outreach team and share their stories to Police organizations, Colleges, and Community events.

In 2012, I joined Jane Doe No More, and that changed my life.  I remember going to the bookstores and searching for stories about incest survivors.  I wanted to see what happened to them.  How they lived their lives.  Years later, I realized that what I was really looking for was HOPE.

Through this organization, when I am in front of others, sharing my story, I feel like now, I can BE the hope that others might be looking for.

After speaking at a public event, a woman came up to me and said; “I am a survivor too.  I am 65 years old.  I have only told 2 people in my life, my best friend, and now YOU.”

Jane Doe No More has given me a new perspective on my trauma.

I now know that I MATTER.

—Deb Mitchell

Jane Doe No More Survivors Speak Outreach Member


 

Dylan Farrow

I MATTER

What’s your favorite Woody Allen movie?

Before you answer, you should know: when I was seven years old, Woody Allen took me by the hand and led me into a dim, closet-like attic on the second floor of our house.

He told me to lay on my stomach and play with my brother’s electric train set. Then he sexually assaulted me. He talked to me while he did it, whispering that I was a good girl, that this was our secret, promising that we’d go to Paris and I’d be a star in his movies.

I remember staring at that toy train, focusing on it as it traveled in its circle around the attic. To this day, I find it difficult to look at toy trains.

I won’t let the truth be buried and I won’t be silenced.

Jane Doe No More has helped me find my voice.

I now know that I MATTER.

—Dylan Farrow

Jane Doe No More Survivors Speak Outreach Member


Jane Doe No More honored Dylan Farrow with the Dr. Henry C. Lee Award in April 2017.

Read Dylan Farrow's NYTimes op-ed piece from 2014 and LA Times piece from December 2017.

Jane Doe No More proudly stands in support of Dylan. #IStandwithDylan #voice2change


 

10 Things I've Learned in 10 Years

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It seems impossible that we are celebrating Jane Doe No More’s 10th Anniversary in 2017.  It was my personal experience with sexual violence and revictimization that gave birth to our organization.  However, over the years, we have become a message of hope for so many and I have come to realize that the resilience in my desire to help myself and others has become my divine calling – God’s plan for my life.

I have come to know that we learn the most from our greatest challenges.  I have learned to honor the value of taking risks, staying true to my faith, finding the courage to face my fears, and embracing my failures.  I have even come to recognize that a painful memory, triggered by a sound, a smell or an image, serves to fuel my passion for staying strong in our mission to end the silence around sexual violence.

I’m sharing my “Top 10” in hopes they touch your heart in some way

  1. Sexual violence is the MOST misunderstood and under-reported crime in the world.
  2. Sexual violence is far more prevalent than I could have ever imagined.
  3. Hundreds of thousands of victims of sexual violence are suffering in silence at this moment, reaching them can save their lives.
  4. Sexual violence crimes happen everywhere regardless of race, religion, gender, geography or socio-economic status.
  5. We all have unconscious biases. Education is the answer.  It is imperative that we make everyone aware of the realities and the personal and societal cost of trauma.
  6. First responders play a crucial role. They are not just members of law enforcement, they are firefighters, EMTs, medical professionals, legal professionals, teachers, family and friends who are the first to learn of the assault.
  7. The desire to be heard, believed and reassured that it was not their fault is what a victim needs first, foremost and always. No more shame. No more blame. No more fear.
  8. Truth is powerful. For survivors, coming forward and sharing their story is healing and empowering. It provides an opportunity to take back control while reaching other victims and educating society. #voice2change
  9. While the trauma of sexual violence may never go away, you have a choice in how to move forward. I choose love. I choose hope. I choose to make a difference.
  10. In order to help ourselves and others, we must practice self-care and nurture our minds, bodies and souls.

As Jane Do No More celebrates this important year I am filled with gratitude for the hundreds of people that share my passion to make a difference. I hope you will join us at one of the many activities that advance prevention and serve to help us liberate victims and our society from the tragedies of sexual violence.

 

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New Beginnings 2015

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Wow, what a year! 2014 was transformational in so many ways. The conversation about sexual violence has never been stronger underscoring the importance of our mission. I have witnessed the aftermath and looked in the eyes of far too many victims in pain. I have also been blessed to witness their healing when they realize there is help and they are not alone. We are in the midst of a sea change; powerful perpetrators can no longer hide and victims are becoming strong survivors who will no longer be silenced.

I look forward with renewed passion to further these important breakthroughs in our life-changing work. I am mindful that we could never do what we do without your love and support. To my dear family, friends, volunteers and donors, thank you from the bottom of my heart.

May 2015 bring more understanding, less ignorance; more healing, less victim-blaming; more light, less darkness; more humanity, less silence, more joy and less fear.

Warmest wishes for a safe and happy new year.

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Jane Doe No More, the hardcover book is available for purchase.

100% of the proceeds from your purchase go directly to our programs and services.

Dateline

Dateline

Watch the 2 hour Dateline NBC show of Donna's story 'The Man Behind the Mask' at here.

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National Sexual Assault Hotline
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Contact Information

Jane Doe No More, Inc.
203 Church Street Rear
Naugatuck, CT 06770

Phone: 203-729-0245

Email: info@janedoenomore.org

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